I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Alive.
So much puke
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
