so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
