I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
