i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would ride that face into the sunset
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
