You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
