New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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