So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
