So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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