is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
