my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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