it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
