my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
