your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
