Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish i was in the wii world.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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