I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I need moral support for this bender
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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