and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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