things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
