Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
