my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
