We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
