No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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