I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
