i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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