theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
