So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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