remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
