I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
