Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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