Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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