The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
