whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
