you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
