When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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