she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
