oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
