Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
