My friends, they love my intelligence
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fill condoms, not promises.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize