I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
