note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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