I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
