we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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