omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
