I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
