guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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