You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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