tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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