Walk of Shame. In a state park.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Never joke about your clitoris.
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