i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
