My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
