i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
