Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize