Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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