Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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