Me too!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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