we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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