i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
