new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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