WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
