I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
