found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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