I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
